


Too Young For This Shit

by HunterXMachina



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Baby!Amanda, Baby!Amanda au, Bear - Freeform, Damaged, Dates, Depression, Feels, Gay, Gay bear - Freeform, M/M, Named Dadsona (Dream Daddy), Romance, Size Difference, Swearing, TW: Eating Disorder, Trauma, dad jokes, dadsona is named Sebastian, minor fluff, tw: abuse, tw: child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2019-10-14 15:18:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17510999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterXMachina/pseuds/HunterXMachina
Summary: (title subject to change)An au where Amanda is a baby, and the dadsona is young and trying. Trying so very hard.Sebastian has just moved to Maple Bay, and just wants to make some friends with the local Dads without his insecurities getting in the way. And, wouldn't you know it, one such dad has caught his eye, a bigger man named Brian.How will their clashing personalities react to one another?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this my first time posting to this website, and I hope everyone enjoys it. It's based on an idea I had, what I'm calling the Baby!Amanda au. It's exactly what it sounds like: an au where Amanda is an infant, and the dadsona (here named Sebastian) is young and inexperienced at fatherhood. He's trying to balance work life with taking care of Amanda, and trying to take care of himself. I'm not sure if anyone else has had this idea.
> 
> Right now, the idea is to just retell Brian's story, because his is the one I feel needs to most rewrites. There won't be as much competition between the two, but it will still have conflict . If I ever get to it, I would love to rewrite how the other stories would go in this au, but for the time being, anyone is welcome to use this au as their own.

“Waaa! Waaa!” The familiar sound woke me up. The same sound that has woken me up everyday for the past few months. The sound that is the reason I no longer need an alarm clock. And the sound that is the reason I live.

I opened my eyes to see my most prized possession, my only daughter Amanda, awake before even I was. She was standing in her crib, her tiny hands on the bars, trying to shake her way out. It sounded like she was crying, yet there were no tears coming from her face.

I let out a yawn, being taken a little aback just how fast my dad breath was coming in, and ran my thin boney fingers through my messed up black hair. “Come on, Manda. Five more minutes.” As I tried to let my eyes rest even if for just one more moment, Amanda’s wailes darted my eyes back open. 

She knew exactly how to get what she wanted. All the right buttons to push to get her father to do what she wanted. And she could barely speak. A true miracle. “Fine. You got me up.”

I got out of his twin sized bed. It was pretty modest, only one pillow, a green bed sheet, and the same blue blanket I’ve had since I was a child. The eggshell crib was about five feet away from the bed. I lifted the infant out of her crib, and miraculously, the whining stopped.

Walking through the halls, I still find this new house unfamiliar. I passed by the current guest bedroom, though I knew the likelihood of me ever having guests was near impossible. The room was exactly the same as mine, only it was where I was storing my unopened moving boxes. Nothing too big inside of them, mostly just Amanda’s clothes and toys. I really should get on that.

When she grew up, I knew it would be Amanda’s room. But, I don’t think she’s ready to sleep away from me yet. Nor was I. I loved spending as many moments as I could with my pride and joy, even if neither of us would be awake to truly appreciate them.

We finally got to the kitchen, which was also filled with moving boxes, these ones with the kitchen utensils. At least the table was set up. I put Amanda on her high chair, and walked to the brown food cabinets. They were still rather empty, but they had the essentials for Amanda.

“What will it be today, Amanda?” I took two different flavors of Gerber baby cereal. “Peach and Apple, or Banana?”

“Nana! Nana!” she said. At only 8 months, she certainly had a vocabulary on her. She knew the words ‘moon’, when she does her weird chant to the moon, ‘dada’, when she wanted my attention, ‘nana’ for bananas, and, most importantly to her, ‘upy’, for whenever she sees a dog.

“One banana for my ‘Manda.” God, I’ve been a father for less than a year, and I’m already making Dad jokes. Probably the only 22 year old to do so. I disappoint myself so much. I poured the milk and mixed the yellow ingredients. Nice and thin, just for my princess.

I presented the feast to her with her pink bowl and yellow spoon. “Your meal is ready, your highness.”

As I fed Amanda her mushed up cereal, I looked around at this new home. The entire house screamed quaint. It was fairly small, the smallest in the cul-de-sac as a matter of fact, exactly how I like it. Not big to show off how expensive it was, but not small to show it was cheap (even if it kinda was). 

But is it too small? This is where Amanda will grow up, right in front of my eyes…

I looked at his child. No, my baby. She doesn’t know the significance of this house yet, nor does she comprehend what it will mean to be, but in time she will. I just have a feeling the two of us are going to have a lot of amazing memories here.

“So, what's on the agenda for today?” I asked, still feeding Amanda. Some food was drooling on to the side of her mouth, so I used her bib to clean it up. “Well, firstly, we've got to make sure all these boxes get put away.” In total, there was about maybe 12 boxes left. If Amanda would cooperate by calming down, it shouldn't take more than an hour.

“Let's see what else.” I went through the to-do list I kept in his mind at all times. “We need groceries, we need to look into some potential daycares…” Amanda was interested in none of those things. “...and maybe...go to the park?” That was another word Amanda knew VERY well.

She was shaking with excitement. The park was her absolute favorite place in the world. It didn't matter the park. As long as it had sand, swings, and a slide, she loved it.

“I thought you might like that one. We can do that first.” I chuckled. “I think that's all the stuff for today.” I was ignoring the laptop sitting not two feet away from him on the table begging ‘Write me! Finish me! Acknowledge me!’.


	2. Chapter 2

After one of my trademarked in-and-out showers (I still feel uncomfortable taking showers with Amanda at the same time, but it saves time and water), the two of us were ready for the day. Amanda wore a pink shirt with a flower on it, and white shorts. It was summer, and I wanted my daughter to be the most comfortable. Nothing but light and loose clothing for her.

I, on the other hand, wore a long sleeve, black shirt, with dark gray pants. I know what colors look best on me, and if looking good meant I had to wear dark clothes at all times, then so be it.

“You ready for the park, Manda Panda?”. She was beaming with excitement, and ready to make some friends. And by make friends, I knew she would act shy around others kids, and only play with me. Amanda seems to have problems interacting with kids, but when she actually does, she’s extremely kind.

“Let’s see, where is…” I looked for Amanda’s white and red stroller. Much like most things in my life, it was relatively inexpensive, but got the job done. I found it hidden behind several of the moving boxes, having been boxed in (get it?). 

“I can’t wait for your nap.” I said, putting Amanda into the seat. I continued to talk to her while getting all the necessities for their little adventure. “I’m can get rid of these boxes, I can maybe catch up on some YouTube videos, I can finish that paper…oh right.”

I was a freelance writer who works for a couple somewhat big named websites, and they paid me enough to live, yet with the new house, money was a little tight. I mostly write about the ups and downs of parenthood, specifically single parenthood. Every few weeks, I have to submit a new article about anything in relation to whatever subject matter the higher-ups want me to write, be it the high price of diapers, or the do’s and don’ts’ for new parents.

Lately, however, I’ll admit I have had quite the writer’s block. Maybe it’s the stress of being a single parent, or the stress brought upon by the move. The point was, I only had one word written for his next story. I took a quick peek at the Google Doc where I write my work, always the first thing to see when I open my laptop

“The…” and that was all I had. It was not due for another 3 weeks, thankfully. I have a few finished papers to hand in for the next couple weeks, but I know I’m already behind schedule for this paper. By now, I should already be half way done.

The bosses want me to find and interview another single parent, this one of an older child, and get their input on the whole parenting thing.

But, being an antisocial butterfly with resting bitch face, it was going to be quite the challenge for me.

But that’s for the future. Now, it’s Daddy-Daughter fun time at the park!

\---

“What are we gonna do first, Amanda?”

“And box!” Another word she somewhat knew.

“You wanna play in the sandbox?” I said with joy.

“Yeah!” In her excitement, Amanda threw her stuffed dragon Ellie on the sidewalk.

“Dragon down!” As I rushed to hand the plushie back, he noticed just how much life was flourishing in this town. People were jogging, children were playing hopscotch in the street, and old couples were sitting on the bench.

I really haven’t heard much about Maple Bay, other than that it was a quiet town still filled with several Mom and Dad shops, the only one still supporting small businesses in the immediate area. It was the perfect place for where I want Amanda to grow up, because I believe she can learn some important values here, much more so than in the city.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee broke me out of my daze. I turned around and saw we stopped outside something called the “Coffee Spoon”. It appeared to be run a young, hip man with dreadlocks. God, I can’t remember the last time I had good coffee. 

I felt my pocket, and remembered just how little I actually had. Payday was tomorrow, and all together, I may have had $27 in my bank account, along with a crumpled up 1 dollar bill I found in my car the other day. So coffee would have to wait, despite the grumbling in my stomach begging for anything to fill it. 

Breakfast was going to have to wait. Again.

As I walked past the window, I saw a dark-skinned man with a red shirt and a leather jacket. For a quick second, our eyes met. I looked away almost as quickly. Today was not a day I’m willing to socialize.

\---

The park was beaming with energy. While several children were playing in the jungle gym and on the swings, Amanda and I were alone, playing in the sandbox.

“...and done!” After working on it for about ten minutes, my sandcastle was complete. And...it looked like ass. The leftmost tower was crumbling, the rightmost tower was just some sand I had melded together into a hill because Amanda was using the bucket at the time, and the stick I used as a flagpole was too short to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies. Everything about it looked as if a child made it.

So, I was more than a little perplexed at how, somehow, Amanda, an actual child, built a fully functional sandcastle. It was about twice the size of the bucket, had a moat (where did she even get that water?), and fully installed wifi for all the servants. At least, that’s how I saw it. Even Amanda’s stuffed dragon Ellie made a decent sandcastle.

“Heads up!”

“Wha-” BAM! I was hit right in the eye by an unidentified flying object. I shot back from the pain, landing in the grass outside the sandbox. My eye felt throbbing, and I instinctively covered it. “Fu….” I quickly remembered where I was, and how swearing in front of children was still frowned upon. “Fudge!” Smooth.

“Woof!” a small corgi with a green handkerchief around its neck ran up to the me. It ran circles around me while I lied in pain, wagging its tail while Amanda laughed and clapped. I was grateful for this little pooch, because otherwise Amanda would cry seeing me like this.

I looked to my right and found a red frisbee, still in the sandbox. “I take it this belongs to you?”

“Ruff!” The dog nudged my leg, and my heart just melted This dog was precious, and I would kill for it. Amanda crawled over, and the dog happily greeted her with a smell and a lick on the nose. Amanda began to pat the dog’s head. Not hard, however, very gently. Exactly how I taught her. I don’t want her love of dogs to ever hurt anyone.

“You definitely coulda caught that.”

I saw a tall ginger man with a green hawaiian shirt and an off-white tank top approach. From where I was sitting, he looked much older, with wrinkles around his eyes. But he wore them well. He was definitely a bear, with red chest hair coming out of his top, and a decent sized gut.

I had to admit, had it not been for the questionable fashion choice, this man would certainly be my type based on appearances alone.

The man spoke in a loud tone. “You know, frisbees are traditionally caught with your hands, not your face.” he said taking the frisbee back with a smirk.

“That’s kind of a weird way to apologize.”

“Heh. I’m only teasing.” he held out a hand to help me up. “I’m Brian.”

I took the man’s hand, and it made mine look miniscule in comparison. This man definitely did a lot of hard labor.. “I’m Sebastian.” I was a lot shorter than Brian, reaching up to just about his chest.

“Ha. Like the-”

“Yes. Like the crab. I’ve heard that joke quite a number of times.” I’ve been told by colleagues that I have an odd way of speaking. That I look and sound pissed off at all times, so it was really hard to read my emotions. I’m hoping Brian can understand we are not off to the best start.

Already, he has thrown a frisbee at my face and not apologized for it, and made fun of my name. I looked over to Amanda, and saw she was learning fast. She was not petting the dog on the neck, finding its sweet spot. “And this here is Amanda.”

“Awww! It looks like Maxwell likes you, little baby!” he said in what might have been the most annoying baby talk I had ever heard. “How old is she?”

“She’s coming up on 9 months.” A girl no older than 10 who was like a miniature Brian came over, reading quite a large book and dodging every branch in her way without looking up.

“This is Daisy. She’s reading the Brothers Karamazov. Her teacher tells me that she has the reading comprehension skills of a high schooler.” I understood some of those words. It looked like this guy liked to take pride in his daughter’s accomplishments.

“Well…” For some reason, I had the urge to want to brag about my own daughter’s accomplishments. Do all Dads get like this? Amanda is not even 1 years old, what do I have to brag about? 

“Amanda here just kicked my butt at sandcastle building.” I said, nodding my head over to her masterpiece and my failure. I was unsure whether or not it was a good thing to show my failure off like that.

“That’s amazing! When Daisy was 6 months old, she actually won a sandcastle building contest.”

Damn it. How’s a guy suppose to compete with that? Daisy clearly looked embarrassed by Brian. At least Amanda wasn’t being bothered. All she cared about was the canine in front of her, who looked like he was receiving the best belly rubs in his life.

“Dad, you’re embellishing.” Daisy spoke up. “I only won because all the others were swept by the ocean.”

“Hey. A win's a win in my book.” He put his hand on her shoulder, not breaking eye contact with me.

...were, were we fighting? Is this how Dads are supposed to interact? By passive aggressively bragging about their children’s accolades?

“I guess we’re all on different life journeys.” Brian may have won this round, but at least I’m Amanda’s favorite Dad. I liften Amanda up for a big hug, revealing my injured eye.

“Yikes. That’s quite the shiner you got there.” Brian said. I fumbled my phone out of his pocket. Sure enough, my eye swelled up immensely, turning a purplish-red.

“I...We have to go.” We may have only been here for about an hour, but I can’t be here. Amanda looked incredibly sad, but to her credit, didn’t start bawling her eyes out. The last thing I wanted was to attract more attention.

“Hey, man, don’t go.” Brian pleaded. “I think I have some ice in my truck.” 

I ignored him. Not maliciously, however. I just think I need to be alone right now, with thoughts of the past flooding my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a rainy day in the dreary city. A thick fog covered the sky and obscured the roads.

Outside of a private school, students rushed inside. Not because they were eager to get to class, but to avoid the downpour of rain that was about to happen.

Inside the school, a boy wearing the standard blue uniform and sunglasses indoors walked the halls, avoiding eye contact with the other, concerned students. He didn't need their pity. He wasn’t in the mood for it today.

He sat at his assigned desk in his assigned homeroom, just as he had done every other day of the week. The board read the schedule for that day: math, followed by science, followed by lunch, followed by history. 

The boy could hear the whispers of the other students around him, saying “Wonder what he did this time?” or “Looks like he needed to be told twice.” This was then followed by the sound of the other boys laughing. He did his best to ignore them.

The elderly teacher looked glum from her desk. “Sebastian.” she said. The boy went to the desk.

“Yes, Mrs. Ivors?”

“This is the 3rd time this month. Please, take off your sunglasses!” she spoke in a calm, yet authoritative tone.

The boy finally took the glasses off, to reveal his right eye had been swollen almost completely shut. It was pulsing, like it had been a recent injury.

The teacher led out a sigh. “Again, Sebastian? You know, we can’t do anything about this unless you tell me who has been hurting you.” she took the boy’s hand in her own.

The boy couldn’t look her in the eyes. “I’ve already told you. My…”

\---

Knock, knock, knock

I found myself awake, clutching the last of the moving boxes. The dream was quickly fading from my memory, as all the most important dreams seem to do. That nap practically rebooted me, and it took a second to remember everything that has happened today.

“Okay...” I thought. “Amanda is sleeping. I’m almost done with these boxes…”

Knock, knock, knock

“...and someone is at the door.” I walked past the hallway mirror, and tried to make myself somewhat presentable. I fixed my hair and wiped the small drool that dried up on my face. My eye was still swollen, though it has at least stopped throbbing.

I opened the door to see a blonde man with a pink shirt, and a blue sweater wrapped around his neck. He looked like he had just jumped out of a christianity conversion poster. He was holding a plate of cookies, still hot from how they looked.

“Hello.” he said. His voice didn’t exactly match his looks. He sounded like he played video games for a living.

“Um...hi.”

“You must be the new neighbor. My names Joseph, and I brought you these cookies as a welcoming present!” he said, extending them out towards me.

“Um, thanks.” I’m not exactly use to neighbors being this friendly. Back in the city, whenever I would try to say hi to anyone, I was usually met with either a glare or a middle finger. 

I was a little nervous to try one of the cookies, not because they looked bad or anything. But, I hadn’t eaten anything today, so this cookie would have to be my breakfast. And given the time, a very late lunch. And probably dinner too. 

I finally decided to try one. “Wow. These are like, really good.” I said, wolfing it down in one gulp.

“Yes. My daughter and I made them. We had a few extra, so I thought why not welcome you to the neighborhood.”

I eat another one. “Oh, you have a kid?”

“Yes. Four of them.”

I almost choked on the cookie. This man barely looked older than me, and yet, he has four kids? And he looked so polished?

“Wow. And I thought I had it rough with one kid.” We exchange some laughs. I allowed Joseph into my home so we could continue to talk while I found somewhere to put the cookies.

“It certainly is a handful.” he said with the slightest, almost unnoticeable bit of anguish. “But, I’ve got my darling wife to help me. Speaking of which, where's your’s?”

“My…?”

“You know, your spouse?”

“Oh.” My back was turned from Joseph, so he couldn’t see the light leave my eyes. “She and I...aren’t together.”

“Oh. Um...I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No, don’t worry about it.” I turned around and put on a brave face. 

There was a bit of awkward silence that, to my surprise, I didn’t start. I thought I was getting better at this whole socializing thing.

Joseph finally broke it. “Maybe we should just restart.” He held out his hand. “I’m your neighbor Joseph! I’m throwing a barbeque for the cul-de-sac and I’d love for you to come by and meet the rest of the neighbors in our community. Whadya say, pal?”

I let out a little laugh. “Nice to meet you, Joseph. I’m Sebastian.” I just realized I’m only now introducing myself. We shake hands.

“So, can I expect to see you and your daughter tonight?”

“Oh...um, how many people will be there?” Groups and parties have never really been my thing, but I don’t want to seem like a bad neighbor.

“Pretty much all of the cul-de-sac will be there.”

I groaned internally. I know Amanda and I are suppose to socialize, but that’s going to be like, what, 7 new people I have to meet? Plus their families? I could barely handle talking to Brian before running away awkwardly.

“There’s Hugo, he’s a teacher. Mat runs the coffee shop down the street.”

“The Coffee Spoon? No way, I was actually just there.”

“You should try it. Mat makes the best drinks. Who else...oh, Damien, his house is the one with the beautiful garden.”

Someone actually lives in that haunted mansion?

“Craig is a fitness freak. You’ve probably seen him jogging. Brian…”

“Wait, Brian? Like, ginger hair? Really smart daughter?”

“Oh, you’ve met?” Because of course he lives right next to me.

“You could say that. He’s the one that…” I hovered my hand over my shiner.

“Oh my. He didn’t…”

“No, it wasn’t anything like that. It was just an out of control frisbee.”

“Well, that’s a relief. I wasn’t going to ask about the...you know.”

“Hey, trust me. I’ve had worse.” WAY worse.

Joseph laughs. “So, will you be able to make it?

“Um…I mean, I’d love to. It’s just-”

Amanda woke up, her whining echoing from the back of the house.

“It’s Amanda.” I said. I ran to calm her down, and to introduce her to Joseph. Amanda hides her face in my shoulder. “She’s incredibly shy, and I’m not sure if introducing her to so many people at one time is okay.” Please buy this somewhat truthful excuse.

“I understand. My baby Crish use to have problems socializing as a baby too.” he said politely.

“I’m really sorry. I really want to go…”

“Hey man, I understand. You’re putting your daughter’s interest before your own, and I get that. Maybe some other time we can all meet up. Just us Dads.”

“I’d like that.”

“Well, I’m going to head home and prepare for the barbeque. If you change your mind, you’re still welcome to come.”

“Thanks, Joseph. It was nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you too, Sebastian.” He closes the door on his way out.

I basically sulk to the floor, Amanda still in my arms. There went probably the only opportunity I’ll have at making friends. Now, all the other neighbors are going to hate me for being an antisocial asshole.

“It’s not my fault.” I try to rationalize to myself. “I don’t know why I’m like this.” God, here come the fucking tears. “I just...want friends.”

I try doing this thing my old therapist taught me, to start looking at the positive alternatives that could happen, instead of always assuming the worst. For example, maybe they won’t hate me? After all, of the short time I’ve been here, the neighbors don’t seem like the people to judge me. We’ve waved to each other, but that’s it. They seem like friendly people. 

Maybe, one day, when I decide to stop being such a sad bitch, I can get to know them one on one...

\---

It was 8 at night now, and, after what felt like hours, Amanda was finally asleep for the night. I couldn’t really see what was happening at the fateful barbeque, but from what I could hear, it sounded like everyone was laughing from stories and jokes being passed around. Maybe I should have gone…

I look at my laptop, and I feel proud. I have gotten a full page of my paper done, and have the interview questions written. All I need is a a guy to interview, and a perfect conclusion., and I’m set for a little while. Maybe it was best to stay home…

God damn I need to make up my mind.

Knock, knock, knock

Wow, that’s two visitors in one day. I’m getting popular. I close my laptop and answer the door, trying to do it as quietly as possible so as not to wake Amanda. Standing in front of me was the ginger man I met earlier in the park, Brian. He was holding a plate with aluminum foil wrapped around the top. His hand was on the back of his neck, and he smelled of cheap beer.

“Hey Sebastian.”

“Hi Brian.” I tried to act cool by resting on the door frame.

“I was kinda bummed I didn't see you at the party.” he said sadly.

“Yeah, I had to stay here for Amanda’s sake.” And my own sake. “I was afraid she’d stay up late and and it’d throw off her entire sleep schedule.” That was my new excuse.

“Oh good! I was afraid I scared you off earlier.” He was smiling now. Damn, his smile is great! His teeth were almost perfectly white.

I had forgotten all about the black eye incident. I haven't even checked if it was still bad. “I hope you didn't think that was the reason.”

“Well, it wasn't a good first impression. I don’t even think I apologized.” Brian went back to frowning and looking away. “That was kind of a dick move on my part.”

“I kinda ran away before you could, so I guess neither of us are good at first impressions.” We shared a small laugh.

“Even so, I wanted to make it up to you.” He handed me the plate. “Here’s some leftover meat from the party.”

I take the plate with the best fake smile I had. It was a very expensive looking steak. I didn't know how to tell him I didn't have a grill to cook it.

“Oh you shouldn't have.” You really shouldn't have. Something like this deserves to be grilled by an expert.

“That's not all! To make up for hitting you in the face, I'm taking you out for drinks! No questions asked!”

Well, here comes another opportunity. Don’t chicken out this time!

“Brian, you don’t have to do that.” What are you doing? He’s asking us out! “What about Amanda? I can’t take her to a bar.”

“Daisy can take care of her! She’s been reading up about babysitting, and I swear she takes care of her dolls better than most parents I’ve seen!”

I mentally weighed my options. It would be nice to go out to a bar. I don’t think I’ve been able to since Amanda was born. But, I’ll miss Amanda soooooo much. But Daisy can take care of her. But Brian is sooooo cute, what if I embarrass myself?

Oh God how long have I been thinking? Have I made this awkward? Quick, answer!

“I’d love to hang out with you Brian.” My indecisive ass screamed yes and no at the same time. Too late, I’ve already said yes.

“Cool. How about this Saturday? The bar I go to is always the best that day.”

We exchanged numbers, and Brian left.

After being hit with just a wave of positivity, a question burst into my mind. “Did...did I just get asked out on a date?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm really sorry for not posting in forever. College was killing me this semester, bu I'm truly honestly grateful for all the positive feedback I've gotten on this story. My goal is to finish this story hopefully by the end of the summer.

I couldn’t get Brian out of my head. He just seems like such an enigma. Here’s a man that acts so prideful about his daughter's accomplishments, that he feels the need to brag about it to make him seem like the best parent, and to make other parents feel like failures. On paper, he sounds like the biggest ass in the entire world.

So then why do I find him so likeable? I’ll admit he’s my type as I like bears, but what does that say about me? That I’m willing to be around a guy that makes me feel like crap just because he’s hot.

And does he like me? Like, LIKE me? I mean, why else would he ask me out like this? But he has a kid, so he can't like boys. But I have a kid, and I like boys. 

These thought kept racing in my brain for the entire day. I ultimately settled on what I thought was the truth so I could calm down: Brian may or may not like boys, but it didn't matter, because this is not a date. I mean, it’s like Mom always said: why would anyone find me attractive?

Still, I know Brian was planning something. I don’t know what he’s planning, but I know it’s something bad. He’s probably going to get my hopes up and then embarrass me infront of the entire neighborhood. Why else would he ask me out like this? It can’t be because he wants to be friends, cause who would want to be friends with me?

Even if I am embarrassed, I’m gonna be lookin like a snacc doing it. I was wearing my favorite black flannel shirt over a white tee, and black cargo pants. I feel like being fancy for this not-date.

I looked at the time. It was 5 PM, and Brian would be at my house any minute. He insisted he walk me there, not that I minded, considering I don't know Maple Bay all that well. Plus, it gives me an excuse to skip dinner. Bonus!

Knock, knock, knock

There he is. Okay you sexy son of a bitch, let's see what you're trying to pull.

Brian was standing with Daisy at the door. She had a satchel that looked like it was filled with toys. He was still wearing his off-white shirt and hawaiian overshirt combo.

“Hey neighbor! Are you ready for a night of fun?” he said using his best hype voice.

Ready to expose you. “You know it buddy.” Oh God was that too much? Can I call him buddy?

I looked down at Daisy, who was taking out a stuffed bear. “I hope it's okay. I brought some of my old toys I thought Amanda might like.”

This girl certainly came prepared. “No, that's great. Amanda is in bed now, but she'll probably wake up in about 2 hours.” I lead Daisy over the fridge. “There's 3 bottles in here. Just warm them in the microwave for 10 seconds, and give it to her while she’s still lying down. And don't forget…”

Brian held up his hand. “Sebastian, I don't mean to brag…”

Too late.

“But I've seen the way Daisy takes care of her dolls. She'll be fine. Hell, she may even be a better parent than the two of us!” He laughed.

What the hell does that mean? I know I'm not the best parent, but come on. I'm doing my best.

I sighed. “Okay Daisy. You have our numbers if anything goes wrong?”

Daisy nodded her head.

“There's money on the kitchen table if you get hungry.”

“Okay guy.” Brian but his arm around my neck. “It’s time to get you out of the house.” He practically dragged me outside as we waved bye to Daisy.

“Sorry if I'm a little weird tonight.” I said as we walked. “It's the first time I've gone out since Amanda was born.”

“I could tell.” We both laughed. “I was the same way with Daisy. I still remember it.”

“How did you deal with it?”

“Well, it wasn't my decision. But, the wife decided we needed a night out, so we left little Daisy with my parents.”

There it was. Confirmation he is straight. It was a good crush while it lasted.

“So, you've never gone out like at all?” he asked.

I sighed. “No. I've never gotten the chance. There weren't a lot of babysitters I trusted back at my old place.”

“Your wife and you never got a date night?”

Ugh. There’s that W word again. How am I gonna explain this conundrum. “Actually, we never got married.” 

“Oh, sorry. Me and my big mouth again.” He laughed and slapped me on the back, almost knocking me over. “Does she ever come around to see Amanda?”

“No.” I said sternly. Alex is always a sour sport for me. Sometimes, I wonder what's she up to these days. Probably more drugs.

“What about her grandparents? They never come around to take care of her for a day?”

Ughhhhh. Them. If I don't change the subject I'm gonna be crying for hours tonight. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? Like, what do you do?”

His face lit up with excitement, forgetting all about his inquiry. “Well I'll tell ya what I do!”

And Brian went on and on about himself. I dozed off at some parts, but I think I got most of the important information of out if.

I learned he's a general contractor, he’s 39 years old, he likes driving his pickup truck and fishing, but his favorite thing to do is grill.

Honestly, it was kinda nice not having to do any of the talking. Brian stopped us at a place called with a neon sign reading “Jim and Kim’s”.

“We're here!”

The inside of the bar was certainly different from the bars I use to frequent, mostly because no one was dancing on top of the tables and there were no strobing lights.

It was like a bar you'd see on TV, very minimalistic. There was a couple of older gentlemen talking and laughing while playing pool, while another group of college-aged guys were watching the game being played on the television very intently.

Most interestingly, I saw the man with the leather jacket and red shirt from the other day, sitting at a table with a woman in a gray dress. His wife maybe? Brian waved to the both of them as we sat at the counter.

“What do ya like to drink?” he asked, handing me a menu.

I looked it over, but nothing really caught my eye. I'm use to more fruity drinks than the hard stuff. “I guess I'll just have a rum and coke.”

“I think I'll get the same. You hungry?”

...shit. I forgot to eat today again. And with the drinks, I'm bound to pass out. And I am not doing that my first day with Brian. “I guess I'll have something...”

“Neil! Two rum and cokes and two burgers over here!” Brian yelled.

“Already got the drinks ready for ya Bri’.” said the bartender passing the two drinks in front of us.

“Wait, so if he’s Neil, then who are Jim and Kim?”

“No one.” Brian said matter-of-factly.

This whole town if strange.

I took a sip of the mixed concoction. It was a lot more bitter than I expected, but I just tried to stomach it. Wouldn’t want Brian to think I can’t hold hard liquor. Brian started chatting it up with Neil. And just like that I’m back to being a third wheel.

I turned to the TV. It looked like Football, but I know less than nothing about sports, so for all I know this was some sort of ritual to summon Cthulhu.

Neil finally brought us our hamburgers, perfectly pink with all the toppings on the side. And these things were HUGE. There’s a joke about big meat there, but it’s beneath me.

“God, I’m not sure I’m gonna finish this.” I laugh, pretending I’m a competent adult who can remember to feed himself at least 3 times a day.

“Well, if you don’t, just slide it over here. I’ll eat it for you.”

“You must be hungry then.” I laugh.

“No. I just really liked to eat if you couldn't tell.” Brian said as he patted his belly.

God what I wouldn't give to be smothered under that squishy stomach. GAH! Get it together you thirsty bitch. This is not a date!


	5. Chapter 5

“So, you a gaming man?” Brian asked, already finishing his burger.

“Kinda, I guess.” I was picking at the food in front of me, trying my best to look full. Don’t want to turn another guy away with the whole ‘eating disorder’ thing. “Depends on the video game.”

Brian stared at me for a second, then chuckled. “I meant if you like to play drinking games.” Well if you excuse me I’m going to crawl into a hole and never come out. 

Gotta play it cool now. “Yeah, I’m like, the best at drinking.” I say when I haven’t eaten all day and will almost assuredly make a drunken fool of myself. “Why do you ask?”

“Neil, can we get a couple shots of pure whiskey please.”

“You got it.” he said in a gruff voice. On a platter, he gave Brian two shot glasses and a clear bottle filled with the light brown drink. 

“God I love this stuff. You don’t mind it, do you?” Brian asked.

Of course I want to say no. The stuff I’m use to drinking is all fruity from the clubs I used to frequent with my old city friends. Sure they weren’t what a lot of people would consider “manly” or “straight”, but neither am I. 

But, this could be the only chance I get to impress Brian. Even if it turns out he isn’t interested in my, I could still make a friend. For the sake of friendship, I’m going to have to say…

“Are you kidding? I love this shit!” I’m in for a long night.

“Haha, great.” Brian poured the first two shots. “So, about our little game.” he said in a devilish tone, even twiddling his fingers like an evil villain. He’s such a dork. I love him.

And my God does my brain witch between ‘wanting to have Brian as a boyfriend’ to ‘wanting to have Brian as a friend’ really quickly. It’s worrisome.

“I’m thinking we keep it simple. Whoever drinks the least amount of shots before we leave pays?”

I was hoping the loser would have to do something sexual with the winner, but I guess this would make sense. “I’ll agree to that.” We toast our drinks together, and he instantaneously downs his shot.

I’m going to lose tonight, aren’t I?

\---

After about a half hour, I begrudgingly finished my second shot. Not bad considering I don’t drink this stuff. But, I looked across at Brian, who was now starting is twelfth shot. His face was flushed red and his body started to sway. I was honestly getting worried. Not about the bill, about Brian.

“So, Brian.” I said trying to get him to stop. “Looks like you won.”

“Oh I’m *hic* not done yet! Neil!” He yelled, despite Neil being right next to us. “Another shot!”

Neil just poured more alcohol in all of Brian’s glasses. Not even a reaction from the bartender. Has Brian done this before?

I look around at the bar, and a bunch of people are looking at us. The married couple just raise their glasses with Brian. The college guys were laughing, looking in our direction. It looked like they were hyping up the one wearing a black tank top.

Looking back at Brian, I see he’s already finished 2 drinks. Christ, how much can this guy drink? Now, he was just staring at the third glass in his hand.

“You finally done buddy?”

Brian slammed his drink on the table, silencing the entire bar. “I have to pee.” he said very normally, and staggered his way to the bathroom. Now, everyone is staring. Great.

Neil handed me the bill, and I shuttered. That much for all of Brian’s drinks? I take out my wallet, trying to think. The cash in there was supposed to be for groceries this week. Now it has to be for this. What am I going to do for food?

My thought process is interrupted by another glass being placed on the table, filled with some black beverage. The same college guy with the tank top. He had blonde hair and a pink flushed face, obviously drunk off his ass. His friends look like they’re still cheering him on as he scoots into Brian’s spot.

“Hey.” he said.

“...Hi.” God please tell me he’s not trying to flirt with me.

“Name’s Quinn. You new in town?” he held out his hand. Not wanting to seem like an ass, I shake it.

“Yeah. I just moved in with my daughter.” I’m hoping the fact I have a kid deters him. “I’m Sebastian.”

“Well, Sebastian...” he moves his chair closer “Tell me, what’s a hot DILF like you doing with Brian.” He was gesturing around his stomach.

Am I being kink shamed right now? “What’s wrong with Brian?”

Quinn just laughed. “I mean, look at him. He’s fat!”

And there goes what little interest I had in this guy. “So what?”

“So what? Wouldn’t you rather get with someone who won’t crush you in bed?”

“Well on the bright side if he does suffocate me I won’t ever see you.”

Quinn laughs again. “Man, I do like em feisty.”

I just sighed. “Listen, Quinn was it? I appreciate you having the balls to come up and try to ask me out. But I’m not interested.”

I saw his stupid smile turn into a frown. “Ah come one man. I’m not asking twice.” He grabbed me by the arm. 

Do I want to go to jail for this guy? Cause I have loads of experience knocking out drunk assholes who can’t take a hint. But if I do, I’ll probably go to jail and may lose Amanda.

Thankfully I don’t have to do anything, as a dark skinned hand comes onto Quinn’s shoulder, scaring the life out of the guy. I see it’s the guy in the leather jacket. “Okay kid. You’re done.” He practically drags Quinn out of the chair. Quinn put on his scariest face, but the guy wasn’t intimidated.

“Whatever.” Quinn said, walking back to his friends.

“Always got to play the hero, don’t you Robert?” said a low scary voice from behind me. It’s the woman with the dark sweater Robert was sitting with. She takes a sip of her whine. “Shouldn’t be surprised, you’ve always had a thing for short twinks.”

Robert scoffs. “Please, this kid? I only did that for Brian.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” 

“I’m not that short.” I said in all my 5’6” glory. 

“Of course you’re not.” The woman and Robert sit with me now. “My name is Mary, and your knight in shining armor is Robert.” 

“I’m Sebastian. Thanks for that.”

“Whatever.” Robert said. He looked me up and down. “So, you’re the guy Brian has been talking about?”

He’s been talking about me? What has he been saying? Has he called me cute? Has he called me ugly? Got to play it cool. “Really?”

“Yep. I can see why he’s so interested in you.”

Interested how? Like he finds me attractive? Or he is interested in how I’m still alive? Which is it???

“He’s certainly a handsome young man.” Mary was roughing up my hair, and I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable. It’s like their flirting with me. But these were people old enough to be my parents. Granted, Brian is also old enough to be my Dad, but he’s still relatively young. These 2 looked much older.

“Are you guys swingers?” Why the hell did I ask that out loud?

The two just laugh. “Oh no sweetie. We’re not married. Granted, we’ve both slept with my husband.”

“Don’t remind me.” said Robert taking a sip of his drink.

Her husband sounds like kind of an ass. I wonder who he is. 

Mary looked at her phone. “Man, speaking of which I gotta get home before he gets worried.” Mary and Robert both reached in their wallets and placed money on the table.

“I think it’s my turn to call the Uber.” said Robert, taking out his phone. The two got up.

“You guys need a lift?” Mary asked.

“No thanks. I think I’m okay enough to walk Brian and myself back.”

“Alright then. Later.” And the two left.

I looked down at the money left by the duo. It looked like there was enough left over for Brian and myself. Did they know I was short on cash? They’re a strange pair. But who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Finally, Brian leaves the bathroom. I handed the money and tray to Neil, finally ready to end this rollercoaster of a night.

\---

It was definitely a struggle getting Brian out of the bar. He didn’t want to leave, but thankfully he wasn’t a violent drunk. I just lead him out of the bar before he could make a bigger embarrassment of himself.

I draped Brian’s left arm over my neck and shoulders as we walked. In any other context it would be pretty romantic. But in this case, it’s because if I didn’t he’d probably stumble into the road. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that part of me did like having his big strong arms around me. His big meaty hands cusping my shoulder. His hairy arms breezing my neck. After tonight, I think I’m allowed to be selfish.

The walk home was almost completely silent, except for the sounds of cars driving by. Brian finally broke it when we reached out cul-de-sac.

“You know you could have gone out with that guy.” he said in a hushed tone.

“What?”

“That young fit guy. I saw he was flirting with you.”

“Oh, that. Brian…”

“I know I embarrassed myself tonight. And I kinda embarrassed you tonight.”

“You didn’t…”

“I did. And I know that guy was in a lot better shape than I am. And he’s a lot younger than I am. And he’s a lot hotter than I am.” I couldn’t tell if that was this was the real or drunk Brian. But, I could tell he was almost tearing up. We finally reached his house.

“Brian…”

“What I’m saying is, you don’t have to hang out with me out of pity.”

And here I thought I was the insecure one in this ordeal. I’ve never not been the insecure one. It really never occurred to me Brian, the perfectly annoying neighbor, might also have some parts of himself he might not like.

“Listen, Brian.” I removed his arm from my shoulder, keeping my hand on his forearm. “I’m not with you out of pity. I’m with you because I want to be your friend.” And maybe boyfriend, but you don’t have to know that now.

“Yeah, I could have gone out with that guy, but truth be told he wasn't even my type.”

“What is your type?”

My type is you, you stupid sexy ginger bear. “Not superficial douchebags with six packs. I like nice guys like you.”

Brian seemed moved by that part. I am praying to every known God that he finally takes the hint. “You think I’m nice?”

Now Brian wants his ego stroked. Can’t blame him. “Of course man. And I’m sure someday soon you’re going to find a girl that sees past the flaws you think you have.”

Brian now seems finally back to his happy self. Good, seeing him like that physically pained me.

“Ya know, Sebastian. This is the first time I’ve gone out with someone since my wife left. I’m glad it was someone like you.” he said blushing.

I feel my heart beating rapidly. “Well, I’m glad I helped with that.” To think, I might actually have a chance with this guy.

I fished inside his house pockets and found the house key. Before I could even open the door, Brian moved forward, his gut pinning me against the door. His arms were placed on both sides of my head. He just looked at me with his flushed out face.

He leans forward. Is he going in for a kiss? Should I kiss him back? But he can’t give consent! This is so wrong. But I don’t care. I feel his stomach gurgle.

Burp! 

2 inches away from my face, Brian led out a huge belch. It smelled like a mix of the burger and whiskey. I had my mouth open expecting some form of kiss, so I got like all of it. I covered the lower half of my face.

Brian recoiled, laughing while covering his mouth. “Sorry man.”

“Not funny dude.” I opened his house, finally getting to see the interior. Architecturally, it looked similar to mine, but beefed up. Everything looked like it was something in my house, just bigger and better. I didn’t have all that much time to take it in, as I immediately led Brian to the couch. Figured it be better to leave him there than to let him walk up the stairs.

I set up a pillow and blanket, and almost instantaneously Brian fell asleep. That part was at least easy.

\---

After that whole avalanche of emotion, I went home. Daisy was just watching some late night nature documentary on the couch.

“Hello Daisy. Where’s Amanda?”

“She’s sleeping in your room, Mr. Sebastian.”

Man, she got her to fall asleep on time. I haven’t even been able to do that. “That’s great. Listen, your father is sleeping on the couch, so I’m gonna walk you home.”

“That sounds most safe.” This girl talks so politely, it’s a little off putting. Daisy got her coat and we walked. It wasn’t that far, but you can never be too careful at night.

“Did my Father get drunk again?” she asked. I am really flabbergasted that she asked it so frank, and that she knows what getting drunk is, and that Brian has gotten drunk before, and that I just used the word flabbergasted.

“I mean, yeah. He did.”

“That’s okay then. I know he’s not a violent person when he drinks. So long as he is safe.”

“Does he get drunk a lot?” I feel like I’m asking a lot of personal questions.

“Only when I think he’s lonely. He’ll have some alcoholic beverages when he thinks I am asleep. Or he’ll go out drinking by himself.”

“Why would he be lonely? He’s got you and all your neighbors.”

“He has plenty of friends, and he dotes on me plenty. But I think what my Father truly wishes for is a mate. He’s never been the same since my Mother died.” We arrived at Brian’s house.

Daisy is just dropping bombshell after bombshell right now. It just goes to show you can never truly know what someone is going through.

“Wow, Daisy. I’m so sorry…”

“Please, don’t be. Father may like to drink, but he’s never done anything bad. I know he doesn’t want to look like he’s in pain. I just wish I knew of a way to help him.”

“Well, maybe we can help lift his spirits together.”

“I’d like that, Mr. Sebastian.”

“Please, you don’t have to be so formal. You can just call me Sebastian, Daisy.”

“Okay Sebastian.”


End file.
